When the elderly misunderstand technology
Isn’t it wonderful to be in touch with old people? They can teach us so many things, including how steep the incline was when they were walking uphill both ways barefoot during a blizzard while carting a wheelbarrow full of ripe pumpkins for the entire family to eat. At other times, we get to help our beloved elderly deal with the wondrous technology, such as giving them endless lessons on how to use more than one tab in a browser. Here’s a list of most glorious examples of clueless elders dealing with technology.
#1. Grandma remote
“Billy dear, could you come over? I can’t deal with this devilish contraption.”
“Nan, we’ve been through this before. Simply restart the router and everything will work just fine.”
“No dear, it’s the remote. I always accidentally press the wrong button. (beep) Oh dear, what are naked people doing in a jungle on Discovery channel?”
“(sight) Alright, I’ll be there in a second.”
The pink duct tape is a nice touch, but what happens when Nan puts the dirty remote into the dishwasher? Haven’t thought of that, huh, Billy?
#2. Windows 98 coffee cup
Imagine a doomsday prepper buying a stockpile of these off of Amazon and hiding them in his zombie apocalypse underground shelter, where he’ll use them to drink moccha with smug vindication while the world around him burns. Meanwhile, the rest of us will plead for help or at least a sip from this pre-Y2K design abomination that only Microsoft suits can think looks good.
#3. The Fappening aftermath
Ever since that wicked hacker known as 4chan leaked nude photos of celebrities to the collective fapping sounds around the world, college faculty has been looking for ways to improve cybersecurity. Of course, this means actually looking at the leaked pictures, because how can you otherwise know which formats, resolution and file names are the most vulnerable? Anyone bought that? Didn’t think so.
#4. Nan selfie
“Billy dear, I know I’m old and can’t keep up with you young’uns these days, especially since I fell and broke my hip on the vacuum cleaner…”
“(exasperated) What is it now, Nan?”
“I want to make a self-he, or the heck it’s called.”
“Just tap the camera icon.”
“Oh-ooooh (shutter sounds), here it goes, thank you dear.”
#5. Click here mom
There are downsides to being the smartest kid in the family, and having to constantly foolproof technology for the elderly is one of them. There’s simply no amount of sarcasm or passive-aggressiveness that will let the poor progeny off the hook. The best part is, no matter what you do, there’s always a way to get outsmarted, in this case mom could ask, “Well how do I click on the phone screen?” Touche, mom, touche.
#5. The remote limbo
“(oh my God, it’s Nan again) What is it now? I’m kind of busy.”
“I know, I’m old and probably boring you with my silly requests, you know me, especially after I shattered my hipbone. The doctor said he never saw such a perfectly shattered ilium in his entire career. Anyway, the remote you fixed for me last time is too confusing.”
“Seriously? It has 10 buttons tops. OK, you know what, I’ll fix it this time.”
Poor Billy, he had no idea what he’s up against.